Break the Curse

My youngest sister got engaged last Saturday. I am so thrilled that she found someone that loves her, respects her, and now wants to spend the rest of his life with her. We Neumann women don't claim to be easy, but we are certainly worth it if you both take the chance and stick with it. Thank you Jason for taking that chance. She is absolutely worth it.

I am hoping that this bit of a bright light will finally break this nasty spell of August. I know of too many people that are struggling right now. Just lots of rough things happening with people I like and respect. In one situation, I expect it is my fault. Earlier this month my mom asked me who she should "hex" for me. I didn't verbally give her the name, but I did "send" it to her. I think my own emotional dysfunction caused mom's energy to get misguided. Instead of it being aimed at the person I intended, it landed on my friend Valerie.

Valerie has had one hell of a month. The things that have happened to her are actually kind of funny. Out of respect though, you need to giggle behind your hand or snicker silently. She somehow managed to chip her tooth on a spoon and then her car became possessed. The damn car had no one in it, and no power to it, and the radio was on and the windshield wipers were flapping wildly. Oh, and the car itself wouldn't start. Yes, I laughed.

I know my mom meant well, but it appears I will need to retract my hex request. Hmmmm....or I just need to be more clear. Mom, you listening????

Weekend with Women

Women often say ridiculous things. Put them together after much time apart, inject them with lots of alcohol, and you have flurry of gut-wrenching one-liners. So was this past weekend celebrating my mom's birthday in Door County with my mom and sisters. At one point, I think all four of us were in tears at a restaurant, completely doubled over in laughter. We'd absolutely freaking lost it.


The stories are both frivolous and extremely endearing. I will share when I can collect my brain. Perhaps it is still marinating, but I expect it is simply just full.

In the meantime, here are some of the best comments of the weekend (thank you Blackberry Notes.)

• That's how you get rid of a hangover. You just slide right into another drunk.
• You never reap what you sow in your own garden.
• When I see people on motorcycles, I just want to hit the first one and watch them all tip over like dominoes.
• I had a munchie basket last night and now it is all in my bra.
• We could have walked here you bumble heads!
  

• It's fourth meal, bitches!!!
• The only reason I am taking my pants off is in case of an emergency.
• Mom, you eat your pie.
• Did mom dance around in her unitard to Jane Fonda?
• How did you wear out your pants? From sitting?
  
• I loved my Lucy pants!
• I'm pretty if you drink.
• What's better than a drunk? A snorting drunk.
  

• That woman was always on the sauce. That's it Elizabeth! You are just saucy!
• You come when I honk you.
• Maybe I am actually an idiot.
• I don't want a shirt that says 'crockery'.

Mom and sisters, I adore you. Thanks for this weekend of just great fun. I cherish the pain in my side, my ailing liver, and all of you dearly.

More to Love

A couple nights ago, Michael and I were hanging out on the couch playing 20 questions. If you haven't done this with your spouse/partner/loved one lately, I highly recommend it. You can still learn a lot of interesting things by those answers. You have to be prepared though, for things you didn't expect or perhaps didn't actually want to hear. A gin and tonic or two aids the process.

While we were engaged in this little tete-a-tete, we lost track of what was on the television screen behind us. Suddenly we were immersed in this horrid show called "More To Love". Now, I am not a reality show snob. I love The Amazing Race, Survivor, Design Star, ANTM, and the Biggest Loser. I have also been known to get sucked into American Idol and a host of other examples of real people embarrassing themselves. I have never though, understood the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, and any of the other "find your true love" programs. They all seem to give ONE person the permission to manipulate the emotions of others. They are given permission to cheat and overall be lying bastards. And people seem OK with that.

I've been told that More to Love is basically the Bachelor with fat people. Great, take a bunch of women with low self-esteem and make them live together and fight for a stupid man. Oh my, how freaking sad and wrong. This idiot has 20 or so plus-size women swooning all over him. He basically tells one of them that she is beautiful and special, and that he could fall in love with her. Then there is some making out (and who knows how much more off camera). And then he moves on to the next woman and DOES THE SAME THING. I am simply perplexed. He is cheating on all of them, and they continue to beg for his attention. WHERE IS THE SENSE? I am just speechless.

Thank goodness I have Top Chef and Project Runway to look forward to in a couple weeks. I need a healthy dose of reality where people simply backstab others in order to get themselves ahead in the world. Not simply to inflate their own self-worth and hurt those that they claim "to love".