Several things have been setting me on edge lately, and I expect that a little venting will help:
- I now have four mosquito bites and the season of bug swarms has not yet begun. I am requesting a full body suit of impermeable, yet breathable plastic for my birthday please.
- Stupid Must Be Stopped. I think this should be my new tag line. Somehow stupid just seems to survive in our society, and in many cases is rewarded. Did you hear that Jon (from Jon and Kate Plus Eight) was just busted for being out drinking and cuddling with another woman at 2am? Did he not know there would be cameras? Did you know that they have a $1.3 million house? Don't even get me started on the fact that they have voluntarily produced a hoard of children and I am supposed to feel bad for their struggles, even though they RECEIVE more help and money than all the other families who choose to take responsibility for their own decisions.
- People have stopped eating pork because of the threat of swine flu. Seriously? Read the news, please. I am very concerned that the government of Egypt has decided to slaughter all 360,000+ pigs within the country. Soon they will be filing the points off the pyramids due to the threat of impalement.
- Chupa has decided that 4a is the appropriate time to wake up, run around and meow loudly. Iona agrees with this. While I get to go to work tired, they get to go take naps.
- My credit union's website has been down all morning. I guess all the employees decided to take their involuntary furlough hours today. Go State go! God knows I really didn't want to be productive at 4a. That would just be wrong.
- Timeliness should not be an option. If you are scheduled to be somewhere at a specific time and others are dependent upon that, then please adhere. That includes interviews. Wait, that especially includes interviews.
- Why do so many adults not understand proper grammar and punctuation? I think I am going to start scoring all emails that I receive. I will simply respond with a letter grade if you fall below a C. If you can't take the time to construct a proper sentence, then why should I have to read it? Here's a free hint. If in doubt, use a period. Adding many, commas, does, not, work, if it sounds like a run-on sentence, it probably, is. Oh, and there is this handy thing called SPELL CHECK.
- Paula Abdul. See???? Stupid does get rewarded.
OK, I think I feel well enough to drive. At least well enough that I won't run you down when you are going 50 MPH in the left lane.
"They ask you to hold the position for a long time and breathe. Instead my legs shook a lot and I held my breath. But I stayed in position! Well, sort of."
For many years I have been wanting Michael to find an activity that increases his flexibility. While he goes to the gym pretty frequently and is quite strong, his bending skills are very limited. It just seems like he would feel better overall if his body was willing and able to move out of a straight line. Sometimes he walks around like a man 3x his age, and that just doesn't work for me. If I wanted an old man, I would go find a real one that was knocking off soon and would leave me with a lot of money.
I was encouraged when Michael started some exercises at home and hoped this trend would continue. So when he told me he was going to try a Beginners Yoga Class at the Y, I was very supportive! Jokingly I asked if they had a senior citizens session that he could start with. Intro Yoga for the Lame and Very, Very Elderly seemed appropriate. To his credit, Michael made it through the entire class on Tuesday night and didn't need me to come and pick him up. Trust me, I had the phone near in case the trek home wasn't feasible.
He was able to make it home, albeit a little slower than normal. And he seemed to really like it. The next Beginner's class is Monday...so fingers (legs) crossed that he's back in the pose. Hmmm....maybe he could wear his bright orange Crocs in class. That alone makes me giggle.
The beach does strange things to us. We immediately slow down, forget we have laptops, and somehow we are willing to dress in bright colors and patterns that we normally wouldn't be caught dead in. We blame the salt.
This past weekend was our first true NC coastal experience. We were invited to Atlantic Beach by our friends Rob and Todd. This was also our inaugural trip with them, and I must say we did fine. We were abnormally relaxed, and they are experienced and delightful hosts. We sat in the sun, we took walks, rode on scooters, shopped in town, went out on the boat, and of course drank, ate, and laughed enough for a month.
There were several very funny experiences, but one of my favorites has to do with CROCS. I do not like these things that people call footwear, and that should not be a surprise to anyone. They are all in obnoxious colors and they are made of some weird unnatural foam product. So it is only fitting that Michael wanted a pair and Rob was there to make sure he did. Some of the CROCS were on sale, so that is where we focused our attention. Size and sale eliminated most of the colors, so we were down to orange, light blue and pale yellow. I got the deciding vote, and so orange it was. Every wife needs a man with big bright orange feet.
Speaking of orange...we got to bring the corgi! As part of her healing journey, she traveled to the beach. Not only was she there, she walked out on a dock by herself and took a boat ride! My dog is amazing. Thanks to the guys for letting her join us. Princess enjoyed herself immensely and we all seemed to appreciate her silly company. It helps that she too likes the liquid stuff and that her barker is still a bit broken. She is officially the drunk old lady.
I love all my things and their orange feet.
My trip to Wal-Mart actually turned out OK. I credit the fabulous people that came with me - Dante, Rob, Valerie and Taylor for making clothes shopping at Wal-Mart rather entertaining. The green sun dress Rob picked out actually looked pretty good (although the belt around my ribcage was a little weird). The shoes though were really damn green. Since they were the only ones that had a heel in my price range, I guess I can forgive their super aggressive lime color. Anything is better than rubber flip flops. Oh the horror of those nasty things between my toes.
