Keeping with the Instability

Nothing in my life is stable right now. The past several months have turned just about everything in my previous existence upside down, turned around, and flipped inside out. I like control, I like order.

For those that know and love me, you can appreciate how this is making me a little spastic. But there is something EVEN MORE FRIGHTENING! Although I am getting better about expressing the wack-job-ness that infests my body, I am also somewhat concerned that the panic might actually be dulling down.

It is not that things have stopped changing. On the contrary, my life continues to be in flux. And surprisingly, I think a lot of the change is positive. I feel like a different person, I look like a different person and I am thinking like a different person. Hopefully that is good for those that are important to me. This change could be life-changing.

On a materialistic side, I gave up another piece of my stability last night. The lease on the Touareg was actually up a month ago, but they let me keep it 30 days longer. My expectation was that I would have found another vehicle in that time. Ummm...not so much. A tad distracted with other changes and this took a back seat. Soooo....I am presently driving a kick-ass piece of junk Toyota rental car. The only think NOT manual on this thing is the transmission, which of course is the only thing that should be. Whatever. It is cheap and I am throwing people completely off.

I had the Touareg for four years, so there was stability in my tank. I knew what to expect every time I hopped in. And like all things, the Touareg comes with stories and for that I will miss it. I bought it on a whim during one of Elizabeth's trips to California. One of our first journeys with it was to a Dave Matthews' Band concert. It took Michael and I back and forth to Lake Arrowhead safely many, many times. I received my one and only CA speeding ticket in this vehicle...and rightly so. It was never in a accident and never left me stranded. The Touareg was Iona's chariot across the country to North Carolina, and was thus named after her.

My friend Rob helped me drop her off and there is a story there for another time. The short of it is that he made sure my back IONA plate was removed and also that my front California was back in my possession. He did this without complaining and IN THE RAIN. Thank you Rob.

Naked car. No longer mine. Yet one more bittersweet moment in my 2009.

Island Hopping

Just wanted to share all the photos from the glorious island hopping weekend. They can be found HERE. Now I must decide where in North Carolina to have my next adventure.

Unpredictable

Sometimes you go into a day knowing what it will bring. Other times, the entire thing is a roller coaster of surprises. Sunday I could not have predicted.

I woke up that morning feeling unsure, a little confused, but also quite hopeful. Very perplexing. The day just continued down that path and there came a point where I realized the day was not in my control. WHOA. Did I just say that the day was out of my control? Oh my yes. What was the first hint? Well, that would be the 23.2 mile bike ride that came just one day after an equally strenuous one at the beach.

Michael and I set out on our Sunday morning ride from the Apex entrance. We ended up riding all the way to the Southpoint Mall. We went from Wade to Chatham to Durham county. We biked to a mall that is TWO counties away!


One the way back Michael checked our distance and realized that if we ended back at the beginning, we would have only done about twenty miles. Well, that just wouldn't do! We needed to log more than the 21.8 that we had completed the prior week. So we went PAST our car about 1.5 miles and then turned around. Mission complete.

I had just stepped out of the shower a little while later and was mentally planning the afternoon...market, cooking for the week, laundry, a little work...when I started receiving text messages from my two dearest friends. Basically the message was simple. Get ready. Now. We'll be there in 25 minutes.

Before I could consider contesting, I found myself BACK AT SOUTHPOINT! This time it was for a movie and dinner and great conversation with people that just make me giddy. I loved that I didn't need to make any decisions, just happily hang out in the back seat and enjoy the ride.

I went to bed that night feeling less unsure, more focused, and just a little more hopeful.

I Had No Five

Once a week Michael and I get together at the Y and take a spinning class. We've been doing this for several weeks and just love it. Our instructor kicks our ass, yet somehow makes the intense cycling enjoyable. We also run with her, so I have this desire to do better each week so that she sees progress. And of course to avoid sheer and utter embarrassment.

One of her motivational mantras is, "Find your FIVE"! When you are coming off hills or sprints, she wants you to find that flat ground equivalent that allows you to rest, yet still exert yourself. There are days I am just waiting and waiting for those words - FIND YOUR FIVE - oh, thank you, thank you, let my weary legs spin at a manageable pace.

This weekend was GLORIOUS, yet my five was not to be found. Anywhere.

On Friday I went to Carolina Beach to spend some time with my fabulous new friend Mary and her husband and daughter-in-law. Mary and I actually met back in February, yet just recently started talking. After realizing that we had a "kindred spirit" in common, a trip to the beach seemed like just the right thing. Friday was low-key and wonderful (boat, wine, dinner, conversation), and then came the marathon day we call Saturday. The day of freaking deliriousness.

That morning we decided to head over to Bald Head Island. It was about 8a when we figured we could easily catch the 9.15 ferry from Kure Beach to South Port. About 45 minutes later we had our route planned and our bikes in order. Eight miles in 30 minutes really isn't much, except when you are me and not used to biking in wind and have no idea where you are going. Mary is a power-house though and kept us moving. She pulled up to the gate house just to hear, "The ferry is leaving! Hurry, and get on". So get on we did. $2.00 gets a person and a bike a spot on the wall and a perfectly basic trip across the water.


We managed to catch the South Port to Bald Head ferry in exactly the same way...except there were cute boys in uniform to take our bikes. That and a balcony seat to enjoy the view as you ferry from the common-folk to the money-people. That is probably how they justified the $15 person and $16 bike charge. Oh I love transition.

A day on Bald Head is the perfect way to alleviate stress. The wind, the beach, the people, the trees, the Turtle Time. There is peace. And with peace comes laughter and the ability to smile naturally...without even thinking about it.

On Bald Head you leave your bike and shoes on the road and walk along the beach without worry. You park your bike at a restaurant without locking it and you do not worry. You spend the day hot and dirty and cycling around the island, and the worry is gone.



While we were waiting for the ferry back to Kure Beach, Mary was reminded that she should take her new friend to the Fat Pelican. Well, I can honestly tell you that the 6.5 mile trek going against the north wind to reach this delightful local dive bar was sooooooooo worth it. I could not find my five anywhere in the ride, but once I was there I said YAY. I mean COME ON! They let you wander into the beer cooler and pick your bottle. The beer cooler is a freaking tractor trailer. Is that not fabulous? Beer paradise. Or simply an oasis when you are now sunburned, exhausted and just plain happy. My feet were so cramped after 7 hours on my bike, that I took them off with glee and thrust my bare feet into the dirty bar sand of the patio.


Me...no make-up, in work-out clothes, hair a salt and wind mess, legs and back groaning, too much sun, too little soap...in public and laughing all the way.

I no longer have issues. Who needs a five? At this point, not me. I simply need to be depleted with a friend and a Fat Tire in hand. Happy is here. Thanks Miss Mary.