The Incredible Husk

My dear friend Amy scolded me yesterday for not posting every single day. Since she is single-handedly responsible for taking down WaMu, I am fearful and must comply. So I am writing even though I am tired and a tad tipsy. It is also raining like a mother at the moment, which I love. We never got rain like this in LA, and certainly not every week.

So, what don't I like about North Carolina? There has to be something...right? OHHHHHH yes. Of course there are things here that make me cringe or make be crazy. My top three:

• Cigarettes
• Roaches
• Mosquitoes

I realize that I am in tobacco country...but, damn! Every other person here seems to smoke. Half of my employees are running down to the smoking area every second they have free. People smoke in their cars, in restaurants, on sidewalks...everywhere. It is so delightful to sit next to someone in a meeting after they've sucked down a couple mere seconds before, or have the guy at the table next to you at dinner light up. Apparently the negative health effects of smoking are way overpowered by the lure of tobacco history here in NC.

Roaches. Oh god. Seriously I have seen roaches in every city I have ever lived...but there is something frightening about the ones here. I will never forget the first roach I saw in Madison. Every restaurant along State Street had them and it got to be a game to get them to scurry away before we opened in the mornings. In Austin, they were large and had wings. In California, they were gross and icky, yet not incredibly large and somehow harmless. In Manila they were just expected and part of the landscape, (although a friend found one on his arm in a taxi once, and I NEVER was able to relax in a cab again!). Here though, they are huge and black and scary. I have seen two since moving here and you would have thought there had been a dozen and they were crawling on me. I am still sooooo creeped out. Yuck (shiver), yuck. I actually prefer the dead rat falling from the ceiling.

Now, down to the absolute bane of my existence! The mosquitoes here are ruthless and are unquestionably out for blood. Michael thought I was exaggerating until we were over at the House on night before dinner and I was smacking at myself frantically. In five minutes I was bit 19 times. The bites immediately swell up and I look like I have some weird and horribly contagious disease. The other day we were out painting and we sprayed me down three times and they were STILL biting me. My hand, my legs, my face; they are not particular where my blood comes from. Michael said that the mosquitoes are just going to suck me dry and leave me as a husk of myself. That will be me...the Incredible Husk.

All in all, I think the sacrifice is worth it. That is, until a roach touches me.

My star has fallen

Earlier today I said our stars had aligned and all of our very important deliveries had arrived. I was feeling damn good about myself, so it is only fair that life decided to smack me upside the head and tell me how things are really going to be. I woke up early this morning and took Iona out in the cold and rain. No problem. Watched the news, checked my email and drank my coffee. No problem. Got ready as usual and talked with Michael about our upcoming day. No problem. Walked out to my car and found a completely flat tire. THIS IS A PROBLEM.

Michael says Iona flattened the tire in the night so that I would have to stay home with her. While that slightly perturbs me, I am more annoyed that she let me get up and get dressed before I found out. I would have much preferred to sleep in.

Regardless, I still needed to call VW Assistance and get them to come out and change the tire, Now, when I have used this program in the past, I was sent a very nice and clean man in a tow truck. It was quite clear when the man showed up that he was there to help me and does this for a living. Not so much today. About 45 minutes after I was told the service would arrive, a very large and unkempt man in a battered maroon Taurus shows up. I would be remiss not to mention that the Taurus had ACE LOCKSMITH on the side. What? Again...potential PROBLEM.

So he did manage to finally get the mangled tire off the car and get the spare on. I then called VW and was able to get a 3p appointment for a new tire (and might as well get an oil change). Several hundred dollars later I had new tires. Pirelli tires are damn expensive.

Did I mention that Michael also found the air pump to our mattress about 3 hours AFTER the new mattress was delivered? Yeah. 3 days of couch and deflated mattress sleeping and he finds the pump. NOT A PROBLEM!

Sigh. The best thing about the past two days? Why, it would have to be this. (I HAVE to point out in the name of home fashion that these are NOT our couches. For real. ours are still in storage PODs. I swear.)

The stars all aligned

We approached Wednesday with more than a little trepidation. Time Warner was scheduled to come out twice - in the morning to fix their stupid cable and again in the afternoon to add Internet. (In true TW fashion, the same person could NOT do both. God forbid they actually educate their workforce to do more than one thing.)The mattress was also being delivered - YAY. Our entire little world was scheduled to be improved...all between the hours of 10a and 5p.

Then on Tuesday night the Carolina Yard Barn people called to say they needed to come out a day early and build our shed. it is expected to rain heavily today and they didn't want to fall behind schedule. So early yesterday morning Michael headed to the House, while I stayed behind for the day at the Condo waiting for the world to change. (Isn't that a John Mayer song?)

With shock and awe I can say that we have a shed, a bed, TV and wireless. It was a very, very good day. Don't get me wrong though, I fully expect to need to call TW after we get our first bill and bitch about the fact that we don't have every movie channel, eight TVs and DVR on all of them. It's a good thing I know a thing or two about customer service.

Couch Update

I did it, I did it. I slept last night and survived the couch. It really wasn't that bad...partly because I was literally exhausted and partly because the Corgi stayed near and licked me every time I looked like I might roll off.

Michael made me breakfast and he's presently watching morning cartoons from his laptop. Tonight we attempt to scrub a little of the college dorm vibe from the Condo. In the meantime I just need to locate my shoes.

Nighty Night Two

Second night of Condo living. I MUST sleep more and better than last night or I will be a raging lunatic tomorrow. Actually I will just feel like I did for months and months while in Manila. Neither sounds good. I was so tired, yet I just laid on our deflated air mattress completely unable to sleep. I kept thinking about work and the houses and all the stuff we needed to do here, there and everywhere. Then I had an idiotic song stuck in my head and just ended up laying there while Michael fell fast asleep. Joy. About 2.30a I crept downstairs with the Corgi and we read until I was asleep on the couch and she under the newly acquired Wake Forest table.

Tonight I am just going to sleep on the couch and hope that Wednesday comes quickly. Mattress where are you? Come quickly before I am crippled.

Hit me with a pair of fourteens, please.

In exactly one month, Michael and I will have been married for 14 years. If you had asked me on that first interesting night where I thought we would be at this time...this would certainly not have been it. Where exactly are we, you ask? We are in a rented condo with secondhand furniture and bare necessities. I am sitting on the floor drinking wine from a cheap set of glasses I bought on Amazon.com, in front of a coffee table I picked up today from a lovely couple in Wake Forest. My Goodwill table is sitting under a useless TV, as the idiot Time Warner installer screwed up and cable is not to be found until Wednesday. Michael is presently watching the Packer-Cowboy game from fleeced wireless through his laptop that is sitting on top of one of my clearance lampshades. We are broken and sore and sitting among boxes that can't be unpacked because we lack the furniture to put anything in. We've been away from our stuff for four months now and I expect that it will be close to a year before we actually see it again. So why am I smiling?

I am smiling because we are around the corner from our House and finally living in the neighborhood that we moved here for. We are also finally together and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight for that. We also have the the Iona Pig, and well, there is only good to be had from that. i also find it terribly ironic that this is our 14th move in almost our 14th year. Seems fitting for us. I know, I know, I am TRYING to settle down.

I think I forgot my cereal at the Fake House. Bummer.