Where Did I Run To?

I did the disappearing act again and feel that it is worthy of an explanation. Where the heck have I been for the past 5 weeks? Halfway through a major freaking fundraising campaign for one. But that's not even the half of it, and as of this weekend it will be time for me to slow my roll down for a bit. This means that for the next few months this girl will be running for her health and for her sanity, and not for cash and notoriety.

Over coffee last Sunday morning, Jason looked at my weary frame and reminded me why I was feeling a little deflated. I had just come off a flurry of amazing activities that had literally zapped the energy out of me. Over the course of the past few months we had launched a huge new initiative at work and partnered with an company offshore. I had also traveled to the Philippines twice, Mexico once, Florida for a conference, and a couple fun trips to NYC and DC. Then I was granted the Triangle Business Journal's "40 Under 40" award, and still managed to toss in my 39th birthday...all while conducting a 10-week flurry of fundraising emails, calls and activities for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) "Woman of the Year" campaign. 


Everything culminated last Saturday night at the LLS Gala. We won.

I have to say though...that winning felt fabulous. Winning the LLS "Woman of the Year" campaign was both unexpected and thrilling. Don't get me wrong, I do just about everything with the intention to win, but there were some hurdles along the way that made this fundraising endeavor more challenging than I anticipated. It is with sheer humility that I say I couldn't have done this without everyone that contributed time, effort, auction items, and money. To each person that offered up cash...I thank you. To all that donated auction items or helped secure them...I applaud you. To everyone that tolerated my exhausted rants and short temper...I appreciate you. To my dear friends Carl, Brad, Mike and of course Jason...thank you to iContact, Dante, Emily, and Valerie... bless you. (And not in that Southern slightly harpy way.)


It was an absolute honor to run this campaign on behalf of Josh Paryz and his incredible family. Every time I encountered them I was reminded why this campaign was so important. "Boy of the Year"? Seriously, this kid is going to be President someday. Just wait, wait, and see what becomes of this articulate, kind, and already brilliant young man. And Mae, Josh's counterpart in this campaign? She is a beautiful and delightfully elegant girl that will grow up to be an absolute stunner in every sense. That these two children have gone through the pain and turmoil of cancer, is almost beyond words. So to them, their families, to everyone involved...thank you for letting me be a part of this. I am forever changed by knowing you. You now have a warrior on your side in this fight against blood cancers. Just don't be alarmed if I disappear for a bit and take a little nap in the sand. I will return to help fight the good fight.

Storm Troopers

I would be remiss to classify any of the weekends I have with Jason as normal. Even during our anticipated downtime, we somehow manage to instigate things and converse about things that set the day delightfully topsy-turvy. Nothing is ever expected and nothing is ever, ever dull. Perhaps some of our inability to prophetize is due to our excitement and newness with each other, but it seems more likely that it is simply our two complimentary beings colliding. This weekend was of course, no exception.

On Saturday afternoon we found ourselves gallivanting through Raleigh with our dear friend Amy. She and I are known throughout the Philippines as "The Twin Towers" and also seem to attract chaos, complexity and entertainment at every turn. This human trifecta could only be interesting.

We three had all watched the weather report earlier and knew that precipitation was our future. Sure, there were talks of severe winds and inclement storms and tornadoes, but we took that news with a light-hearted attitude. The last time that the three of us were together in NYC, we experienced unprecedented winds, so we figured there was little that could get blown at us that we hadn't felt before. HA! As Amy later said, our combined personalities seemingly fuel and anger the weather gods. We three have a little Dorothy in us.

With that said, we prepared for the threat of historic storms by bringing coats. 

We should have realized that things were turning for the worse when the outdoor festival we were attending was suddenly dismantled and people began fleeing. The organizers were literally yanking the chairs out from under us. So instead of going home and seeking shelter, we wandered on over to Hargett Street and the Raleigh Times. The skies opened up during our one drink there, and then there was an eerie clarity and silence. Now I grew up in Wisconsin and have spent many a time cowering in a basement, so I know what that means. The tornadoes are a coming. So we used that little break as a sign that we should walk down to The Landmark Tavern. 

Now the Landmark holds a special place for Jason and me. We never fail to be memorable there and I seem to find my relationship courage at the bottom of their glasses. Most nights find us huddled together and animatedly discussing the future of the world and our place in it. I've had some of my most lucid and life-changing conversations within those walls.

So it was rather apropos that on those barstools we sat watching the weather on the TV and on our phones. We were still in denial of our doom, so we kept laughing about the pending non-event and telling tales of our prior weather adventures. Then it actually began around us. 

We could physically feel the pressure change, and then the winds picked up, the electricity went out, and there was debris whipping around past the windows. All of a sudden the doors blew open and needed to be bolted shut. It was slightly past 4pm and became pitch black outside. Dorothy and her merry men be warned. Once the tornado sirens began, the bartender calmly and loudly ushered us all into the women's bathroom where we stood together under candlelight with drinks still in hand. Of course everyone brought their drink. If you are huddled in a bathroom with people you love, you might as well have a good cocktail to toast with.

The storm went past quickly and left its path of destruction through downtown and throughout North Carolina. 22 people died and 13 counties are now considered to be in a State of Emergency. For all those that lost something or someone on Saturday, you have my thoughts. 

I certainly don't discount the severity, but I can't help but think...just a typical weekend...just a typical Sarah Saturday. And I love you both for sharing it. 

Put a Little Love in Your Heart

Last year several fantastic people I know had their hearts broken by someone that they loved and trusted. In several cases I sadly watched and supported. In others, I only heard about the stories after-the-fact. And in one...I lived it. In each of these situations the pain was all too raw and real. Surprisingly though, most of us have come out on the other side with a renewed appreciation for the person we are, and a much better understanding of the person we want to share our time with. And in all cases, there has been a fair amount of wine and laughter as we've discussed the brutal reality of the who, the what, the where, and the why...the why the hell did all this happen.

It is, and will be, a little expected that we all carry some animosity and suspicion around this "little thing called love". No surprise that a heart can heal, but it rarely completely mends. At least it doesn't alone.

It is with great joy then, that I get to recall the amazing weekend I recently had. My little sister got married. My little sister got married. My little sister got married...in JAMAICA. I certainly will not taint her day by recanting the mess her first husband left her with. Instead, I will relish in the phenomenal life her last husband is sharing with her. They are pretty damn awesome together. 

It was a beautiful day, with beautiful people, on a beautiful beach. I loved every minute of it, and I am so grateful that I was there to experience it. My sister probably doesn't realize, but this wedding was a gift to me. It reminded me that the mistakes we make with one person don't have to be repeated. It proved that there is a better person out there than one might expect. And it gave me the chance to happily and lazily spend 4 days with someone that I travel well with, laugh with, and simply enjoy being with. There is a strange comfort that comes with happiness. But we will save that story for another day...

Most importantly, I shared the day with my fabulous rockstar parents - the Drinking Diva and Party Gary - and some awesome new friends. 

Congratulations Elizabeth and Jason! You both deserve a lifetime.

The Writing on the Wall

Yesterday was all about disclosure...whether on the Facebook wall or on my wrist. Yep, I finally succumbed to my desire to ink my skin. I'd considered it for awhile, and now just seemed right. This is my year for doing things my way, the right way, at the right time...

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed". It's the first line of The Gunslinger, the first volume of the epic journey that Roland Deschain travels in the Dark Tower series. The book made a lasting impression on me the first time I read it, and that one line has continued to spin inside my head. There was simply no question that this was what needed to be on me.

In The Gunslinger, (as in Browning's poem, "Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came"), there is a feeling of anxious meaninglessness coupled with an anxiety that nothing is stable or reliable.

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed". In the middle of an empty landscape filled with empty people, the Gunslinger has a purpose. He has direction. He is the last of his kind, and his mission gives him substance and holds his narrative world together. He is the glue at the center of things.
 
(I stole that perfectly worded interpretation from a Strange Horizon's blogger named David Higgins.)

So onto the fun stuff...my dear friends were there with me yesterday to help me endure the pain and to share in the moment. The postable quotes came fast and furious, and so we divided them up amongst the three of us. Here are just a few of the remarkable ones...there are many more that we didn't/couldn't post and so many others that we couldn't remember once the laughter and tears stopped.

• Carl: "Spontaneity should be something you can sleep off."
• Sean (my cute tattoo artist): "Those are dating rules to live by...open sores are never good."  
• Sean: "Don't worry about the shaking. I know the difference between voluntary and involuntary. Just stop thinking about it, or you'll shake more. And besides, I'm holding you down."
• Me: "I want to tell all the people, 'I am not a cutter'! Damn, I look like I spent some time in the ER after a fight with a razor blade."
• Brad: "Did you just feel the gay go by?" Me: "Oh yeah, I just felt the gay."
• Brad: "Was that the weight of her ass that just made your fork settle on the plate?"
• Me: "He's young. When he leaves me messages, he tells me to 'holla'." Brad: "Sweetie, you ain't no hollaback girl." 
• Carl: "Lordy, lol. I thought that was just between us and all of Glenwood South."
• Carl: "I just came into a cupcake inheritance. And it is good."
• Carl: "I feel so old."
• Me: Hahahaha...BTW, spellcheck wants hahahaha to be 'Haitians'.

And so I have direction. I have purpose. I have some anxious meaninglessness. I have a swollen and sore wrist. I also have a reminder of my purpose visually available to me at all times. And...I have written public documentation of the entertaining journey that got me there. 

Would you like to try some Glogg?

This was the weekend of random awesomeness, and therefore can only be described through pictures. When someone asks you to go to IKEA, what should you say? HELL YES. Hell yes when you haven't been in over a year, the closest one is 2 hours away, someone you like to spend time with is driving, you crave meatballs, and you need napkins.

Did you know you can upgrade your meatball platter of goodness? Yes boys and girls, for only $1.00 you can get 5 more meatballs. The country is super fat for a reason.


A game of Size and Manners? Oh my. Date night?

Our IKEA trip culminated with a pass through the Marketplace to buy frozen meatballs and cookies. As we were reaching the checkout, we heard a very excited voice ask us, "Would you like to try some Glogg?". Did that man in a fake accent say Glogg? Oh what fine Swedish delicacy could Glogg be? Well for $2.99 you get a bottle of some fine tasting mulling spice-like beverage. And according to our happy and somewhat spastic man, it tastes mighty great with vodka, or rum, or wine. This key piece of information probably accounts for his giddy nature. We all left with Glogg.

Only one thing can compete with IKEA, and that would be the NC STATE FAIR! This trip was destined to be great because it came with a personal tour guide. Thank you Brad for attending the fair for 29 of your 30 young years. Thank you for not making Carl and I wander aimlessly without a path or a purpose. Otherwise I may have missed the vicious cottonball of death....

...or The Fried Dough Shop...

...or the drunken sheep made by high school students. What really are they teaching these kids out in the country?

...and I might have missed Wisconsin! It is good to know that there is a little bit of Wisconsin in every State Fair. A little bit of Hot Wisconsin Cheese to go with the Chocolate Covered Bacon aka Pig Lickers. I am speechless. And no longer hungry. No longer hungry for food ever, ever, again.


Most importantly though, I may have missed Carl's inner-Pirate. And oh what a shame that would be. Arrggh. This man looks like he knows his Glogg.

Mixing it up with a third pair of hands

For the past week Michael and I have spent a LOT of time together. We've either been trapped together in a vehicle driving back from Wisconsin or trapped in the House under cabinets and paint cans. Our only time interacting with others has been during the necessary sustenance trips to Starbucks and Subway or the four visits to Lowes. Ironically the same woman was at Lowes during three of our paint replenishments. I am starting to understand her thick North Carolina accent and that is a little frightening.

So imagine our glee when our friend Amber volunteered to spend 1/2 a day with us and lend her mad painting skills. Little did she know that she'd also be helping to lift the amazing time traveling microhood into place, and having to climb up scaffolding and around boxes to get to the bedroom walls. She was a trooper and it was delightful to talk to someone "new". I still have some trimming to do, but I love the wall color - Redstone Lasso. This is actually coming together.

It was another long day for us, but we managed to get up all the kitchen cabinets and get the appliances near their intended space. Now function needs to follow form and all the plumbing, electrical and gas needs to get hooked up next week. We are hoping to semi move-in next weekend and I do demand water. I know, needy bitch.

So far Michael has not lied to me when I ask, "Do we know how to do that?". He was correct that we (meaning he) can indeed hang kitchen cabinets. While I was simply the appendage that came when called, I did learn a few valuable lessons in the process:

1. Arm strength is not a want; arm strength is a need.
   
2. There is great power in the ledger board. It not only keeps the cabinets straight during hanging, it keeps you from swearing at each other.
3. It helps if the person in charge is prepared BEFORE asking you to stand there and hold a cabinet. Balancing a large object above your head while someone chases down clamps and drills is a true test in patience. Love only goes so far. Enough said.