I am feeling some hostility today, so let's discuss the things that make me crazy. Some obviously carry more bad karma than others, so they are listed in no particular order. In case you are curious, I still don't have my loan papers due to an underwriter that decided in the 11th hour to demand more paperwork and conditions. I can appreciate that the mortgage industry is on shaky ground...but come on! (I have what is known as a "good sense" file, even though I have recently experienced "declining income".) Yes, I took a pay cut to move here. Yes, it was intentional. Yes, I am spending less money by not traveling every other day and not living in California. Yes, this is the least expensive house we have ever bought. Yes, this was the best decision ever.
The mortgage CRISIS will never recover if they continue to make it difficult for good people with great credit and a consistent record of solid employment and a reasonable down payment to secure loans. Bite me, I am annoyed. Carry on with the list. - Polo shirts - particularly with "dress shorts" or khakis. Who decided that this should be the uniform of the American man? Can you please choose something that has some originality and actually denotes a personality?
- Whistling, singing, and humming in public. It's great that you have happiness coursing through you, but I really don't need to know about it while you are standing behind me in line at the market. Please keep your thoughts inside your own head and shut up.
- Slow drivers. Get off the road and take the bus. Some of us actually have places to go and we'd like to get there today.
- Throat clearing and excessive noises involving saliva. Please just cough and get it out. If you need to clear your throat or make disgusting sounds like you have TB, then you should probably go see a doctor. Don't make me wish that you really DO have TB.
- Sweaty people. If you suspect that you are going to be hot, please have some compassion for the people around you. Wear a little extra deodorant that day and strongly consider a shirt with short sleeves. No one, and I mean no one, wants to bear witness to your sweaty armpits. This is particularly offensive if you happen to also possess hairy ones.
- Bumper stickers. Is it really that important for you to declare your sexuality, your political views, the fact that your kid is on the honor roll (and probably also gets beat up), on the back of your car? There are more constructive ways to boost your self-esteem. It will also keep me from wanting to run you off the road, just for the principle of it.
- Stupid people. It's bad enough that they are stupid, so it is only right that they are the ones bearing the most children and suing the most people. Keep that circle of life going strong.
- Summer and Holiday Travelers. This probably shouldn't still bother me because I am not in airports and airplanes every day, but it does. Guess what, if you travel once or twice a year, you don't get to bitch about your crappy seat, the lines in security or the fact that the gate agent wasn't smiling at you when you were yelling because the plane is 1/2 hour late or that your monstrous carry-on doesn't fit in the overhead. You don't get to complain, you just don't. And let me throw this out so that it doesn't come as some surprise to you...airports have increased security! Shock! Awe! When going through security please take your shoes off, empty your pockets, and CARRY YOUR DAMN BOARDING PASS. Once through security, walk at a brisk pace in order to get out of the way of all the people behind you that know what they are doing and where they are going.
Sigh...I still have rage but it seems manageable now. As I often say to Michael, "get off your soapbox". I will take that advice and stew quietly here in the corner until my loan docs come in. Hope everyone else is having a good Friday.
Michael's birthday surprise came in the form of a fast orange corgi with a giant "Thought Bubble" bobbing above her head. Seriously, does that stupid grin not look like the typical thing that would run through a dog's head? Iona was surprisingly patient with this huge thing and actually wore it all night...even on our evening walk. Michael was less than excited about walking both the dog and the balloon, but got over it quickly when he realized how damn funny it really was.
Stay tuned for more photos of Iona teaching her Thought Bubble to use a computer, lounge on the couch, watch TV, sit quietly at the dining room table, get the mail, and annoy the heck out of me by bumping into me every 5 seconds while I was trying to cook dinner.
Sing a little song, do a little dance, it's Michael's Birthday! When asked what he wanted for his special day, "a new house and a job!", is how he responded. The birthday fairies smiled down upon him and he received his formal offer letter on Monday for a permanent position (he was a contractor) as Senior Research Software Developer. And we are still on track to close the house on Friday! Happy Birthday! (By the way, that is him doing a little dance in Little Rock, Arkansas during the Great Drive. He seems excited to get out of the car.)
Apparently EVERYONE (more precisely anyone that reads this) loves puppy ears! I wish I had more of these, but admittedly it was a challenge to both drive in a straight line and take photos into my rearview mirror. Of course that didn't completely stop me and I snapped this one on Day Three of the Great Drive as we were speeding through Oklahoma. When Iona needed to take a break she would rest her head on my left shoulder and fill my ear with puppy breath. If I couldn't find a wayside quickly enough for her (because she IS VERY PICKY and wouldn't pee in dirt, or dust, or during wind or rain or anything that didn't resemble a sunny day and a pretty piece of freshly mowed grass), her urgency would escalate to tapping me rapidly on the shoulder with her furry stub.
I have to wish my Grandma a very Happy Birthday! She turned 90 yesterday and she is the epitome of growing older fabulously. I can only hope that I am like her and as funny, as articulate, as with it, and still living in my own house and on my own terms when I am 90. A few months ago I didn't think I would be able to accomplish that at 40, but I now feel I am back on track and keeping the sanity. My Grandma is a great role model and I am both proud and extremely grateful to have her genes coursing through me. Happy Birthday!
I am tired today. Really, really tired. I woke up before 2am this morning because Michael was talking to the dog. He says it was because she was chewing on her foot. I say it is because he couldn't sleep, I was, and he needed someone to talk to...or wake up. The interesting part is that Michael never suffers from insomnia. That is solely my domain and I am a bit disappointed that he is attempting to take my irrational worry symptoms and make them his own. Mine, mine, mine.
In all seriousness, I have been sleeping so much better since we moved here. I am certain a major part of that is a consistent schedule in one time zone, no graveyard shifts and a Blackberry that is significantly quieter than it has ever been before. I used to wake up just to check it in the middle of the night. Now I sometimes forget where it is, let alone remember to look at it.
When I would be in the Philippines I would average about 3-4 hours of sleep at a time. Often I would get seven in a 24 hour period, but rarely all in the same run. I remember so many days lying awake in my condo stressing about not sleeping, which of course would keep me awake longer. Ah the vicious circle. And don't even get me started on what it feels like to stay awake for 28 hours or longer. I am not a fabulous person.
Michael used to send me all these articles and emails detailing the negative effects of sleep deprivation. I already was experiencing the delirium, under eye circles and irritability, and now got to worry about heart attacks and early death. Thanks love, that won't stress me out more.
So here we lay at 2am. He claims he was worried about the house closing and about the land survey in particular (our neighbors recently planted shrubs on what appears to be our property). Personally I think he is jumbled up with excitement about the potential battle with the neighbors. In his head he was probably dressed as a Barbarian and charging up the hill to our boundary line and sheering off the fledgling plants with a single swipe of his axe. All while the neighbors are screaming in agony as he wipes his blade clean and turns towards them. Of course he is only wearing a loincloth. If that doesn't keep you up at night, I don't know what will.
And go for long walks with his friends.
Mostly though, Thought Bubble likes to play games on his computer. (Seriously, we didn't do this! Iona crawled under the dining room table and her balloon buddy naturally settled in the chair. It was terribly funny.
I do feel a little bit better. Thank you Thought Bubble. 
Michael's birthday surprise came in the form of a fast orange corgi with a giant "Thought Bubble" bobbing above her head. Seriously, does that stupid grin not look like the typical thing that would run through a dog's head? Iona was surprisingly patient with this huge thing and actually wore it all night...even on our evening walk. Michael was less than excited about walking both the dog and the balloon, but got over it quickly when he realized how damn funny it really was.
Sing a little song, do a little dance, it's Michael's Birthday! When asked what he wanted for his special day, "a new house and a job!", is how he responded. The birthday fairies smiled down upon him and he received his formal offer letter on Monday for a permanent position (he was a contractor) as Senior Research Software Developer. And we are still on track to close the house on Friday! Happy Birthday! (By the way, that is him doing a little dance in Little Rock, Arkansas during the Great Drive. He seems excited to get out of the car.)
Apparently EVERYONE (more precisely anyone that reads this) loves puppy ears! I wish I had more of these, but admittedly it was a challenge to both drive in a straight line and take photos into my rearview mirror. Of course that didn't completely stop me and I snapped this one on Day Three of the Great Drive as we were speeding through Oklahoma. When Iona needed to take a break she would rest her head on my left shoulder and fill my ear with puppy breath. If I couldn't find a wayside quickly enough for her (because she IS VERY PICKY and wouldn't pee in dirt, or dust, or during wind or rain or anything that didn't resemble a sunny day and a pretty piece of freshly mowed grass), her urgency would escalate to tapping me rapidly on the shoulder with her furry stub.
