A Little DIY in the DNA

Once upon a time it was the Year of the House. A rigorous twelve months focused around renovate, rebuild and repair. Then came the Interval of Me, (otherwise known as the Age of Bernie).  A painful nine-month process of personal redefinition and recovery. My own restoration took less time than the structural, so it seemed appropriate recently to refocus some of my concentration on the walls around me. Literally. 

For the past year I have had significant moments of annoyance over the molding gaps that exist between the living and dining room areas. If you recall, there used to be a substantial separation there, until we decided to take down that pesky little wall. For some idiotic reason, the picture and crown is slightly different on either side. And even more idiotic, we didn't check that before pulling the wall down. So, the moldings are still different and I was becoming more and more frustrated with how to solve this perplexing problem. 

We had already added some molding caps that made the disparity less obvious, but there were still some wide-open spaces that just made me perceive the rooms weren't "finished". And if you know me, then you know that this was making my OCD tilt hard.

Now the obvious thing might be to pull out some power tools and finish the job. Well, I've been instructed not to use such tools that could easily maim me or cause further damage to the House. And rightly so, I might add. I like to be able to do things myself and do them well...and when that doesn't happen I can get easily frustrated. And frustrated with sharp power tools seems like a really bad idea. Particularly when there is no one else around to aim them at. 

So, I took a different route and found something less dangerous. I found stickers. To be more precise, I located a company that takes fabulous art and transposes it onto heavy vinyl adhesive pieces. You cut and apply them in any pattern that you want...and I wanted a pattern that hid gaps. Let's just call this magical. Magic that required a ladder, some grumbling, a helpful corgi, (it would only have been better if she had thumbs...and less fur...and didn't step on sticky things with said fur), and some creativity and patience. YES, I SAID IT! I USED CREATIVITY AND PATIENCE. BITE ME ALL YOU HATERS, I DO HAVE SOME :)

More importantly I now have art with a purpose. And I did it all by myself...without hurting anyone, or anything.

The Invisibility Test

For the most part, I've been on a steady upward climb in 2010. Not to say that some weeks haven't been met by a rock slide or in some cases a complete tumble backwards, but I've always managed to dust off and go again. Most days I feel pretty freaking awesome.

So why then go invisible to the masses? Why delete the blog? Stop the notes? Avoid questions? Stop answering emails? Selfishness, of course. Pure, unapologetic selfishness. It needed to be all about me, baby. 

I love my family, adore my friends, appreciate the unknown readers, respect the lurkers, and value my coworkers, extended family, and new recruits. I also welcome any and all comments, as they keep me energized. Some of the notes and emails I've received from people have literally kept me pushing forward another day, or made me contemplate the goodness that exists in my life. And from many of you...I've realized how lucky I am to have you as a part of my place...as nothing is as inspiring to me as mutual motivation. For that I thank you.

But things all aren't pretty, are they? For the manipulative, my writing was a way to locate my weak spots. To exploit the turmoil that I was going through and feed off of it. For some it was a way to find out what and where Michael was, and to interpret things about our relationship that just weren't there. This isn't a "Where's Michael" game. If you want to know what's happening with him, then ask him. If he answers, then he wants to talk. If he doesn't, then let it be. Because this my friends, is all about me. Yes, he is and will continue to be a big part of it...and yes, I will someday write about the dirt in a cathartic fashion. But don't misconstrue; these are my words, and my life. 

Let's throw some stuff on the table again, just so the playing field is even. Michael and I have been officially separated since July 2009 and are planning to file for divorce in July 2010  (thanks NC for your mandatory one-year waiting period). There were months last year that sucked harder than anything either of us have done before, and hopefully we will individually never endure pain like that again. Some things you forgive, but you never, never, never forget. 

We are friends now and talk often. There are weeks that we see a lot of each other and get along swimmingly. Other weeks we keep our distance and just play nice in the sandbox when necessary. I think I can say for both of us though, that this is a good place for us to be. We have separately moved on with our lives; yet expect the other person to always be a piece of it. No longer the heart or the core; but perhaps a limb.

So there you have it. My invisibility cloak is off. If you want to know about me, my life, and what the heck I am choosing to do with it...then this is your place. If you have other nefarious intentions, then by all means keep reading and judge away. Just know that you'll have better results by going straight to the source. Take your own cloak off, and go to the source. This one is all about me.

Dog Days are Over

Well, I can finally say it...I AM BACK. Back with a vengeance. Back with compassion. Back with conviction.

"Happiness, it hurts like a train on a track
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it will kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with a drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming so you better run." - Florence and the Machine

Stay tuned, as I have some stories to tell. Some funny, some sad, and all real. The transition is never-ending, but I am learning that the happiness is deserved.