Now I know that it is inevitable that I will eventually adopt some of the Southern ways. I acknowledge this in a few cases, but by no means can I comply with complete acceptance. Sort of like the head cold that I refuse to believe is overtaking me.
It is no secret that I hate the NC license plates. They are busy and ugly (a plane, 'First in Flight' caption, beach reeds, AND red lettering), and I refused to place it on my vehicle. The Touareg deserves better. When I received my plate I promptly ordered a custom one and then threw the original onto the passenger seat. That is where it still sits and still in the packaging. I was more than content to continue driving around with my CA plates proudly displayed. That is, until I was either pulled over or I received this:
Pretty freaking cool, isn't it? Good coloring, charitable cause, wildlife, and of course Iona. I've received so many comments about it in the first week, that I know this was the right choice. Unfortunately, not everyone seems as thrilled...
Lest you think I have completely abandoned my true ways, please know that my CA plate is still occupying the front side of my vehicle. Since NC only requires one, I see no issue with this. That is of course until some state trooper tells me differently. And that too, is inevitable.
Last week Iona was suffering a bit and instead of empathizing, we made fun of her. One night she went to bed as a medium-sized puppy and the next morning she woke up a huge puffball. We swear she grew her entire winter coat in one night. And this when the days were still in the low 80s. Michael had been out of town for a few days and jokingly accused me of leaving the air conditioning on too high and forcing the fur growth to make her look more like a stuffed animal.
Needless to say she was miserable. Itchy, hot and way too furry. So yes, we questioned her decision to declare it winter so early. And yes, she was right and we were so wrong.
It has been in the 30s and 40s in the morning. When she and I go out, she just trundles happily around while I am literally shaking. Keep in mind that I am unable to just "grow" a coat and all my winter clothes are still in storage. No sweaters, no boots, no coat, no gloves. My exercise in efficiency absolutely backfired on me. You see, I was prepared for the move and had packed up all my fall and winter clothes early. So those made it into a POD. We had thought that there would be NO WAY THAT WE WOULDN'T BE MOVED INTO A HOUSE BY NOW. Michael on the other hand had completely procrastinated with his personal packing and the PODS were both gone by the time he got around to it. So he has his coat and all his sweaters. He is ironically prepared.
So tonight I sucked it up and bought a coat. Grudgingly. This is a rare time that I didn't want to have to buy new clothes! I haven't seen 1/2 my stuff in over five months and hadn't worn the winter things in over eight. Coupled with the fact that no one here was ever seen these items...so they are basically new. And sitting in a storage container. Sigh. So, I am now the proud owner of two heavier sweaters, gloves, a warm coat and one pair of wool pants. Go winter!
My youngest sister Elizabeth has had a bit of a hard year. The Bad Black Man walked out on her, she had to sell her house in the divorce process, and she lost her dog Ari. All in all, 2008 has not set itself up to be her best. To her credit though, this whole process has really forced her to come around and be smacked in the face with self awareness. She will exit this year a much happier and healthier person than she entered it. For that I thank the bastard.
Now onto love. Anyone who knows Elizabeth knows that she is a complete unromantic. It's not that she doesn't "like" it, she simply doesn't get it and doesn't know to want it. When she had her accident, she broke all the romance bones. She now has a new boyfriend, who I hear is quite wonderful. If I had gotten to him early enough, we could have had this talk.
"Seriously, listen. If you want to woo her, don't bother with the flowers and the candles. She won't get it. Don't waste your money on the expensive romantic dinner and the good wine. Chances are she'll just blow it out one end or another anyway. If you want her, just follow these simple steps:
- Help her clean the house, and do it right
- Get her tipsy on cheap wine or whiskey
- Let her watch bad and embarrassing TV while curled up in her sweats
- When she is close to falling asleep, (not completely asleep; this is KEY...as is paying your light bill, but I regress), pick her up off the couch and throw her on the bed
- Have a good way with her, but not too long lest she fall back asleep before you realize it
- Let her put back on her sweats and NOW fall completely asleep
- You retreat to your corner of the bed and don't touch her for the rest of the night
- She is now yours and she is happy. Romance unnecessary."
But alas, I have not yet met this man and was unable to provide these imperative pieces of advice. So instead, he is trying some things the "normal" way. Keep in mind that in the below conversation he is drunk, she is not, and it is 11pm. Way past Elizabeth's sharpest hours. I am obviously paraphrasing here, but I forgot a bunch of the middle stuff as I was laughing too hard and my brain went numb.
Sunday night went something like this.
He: "Elizabeth, I really like you. I don't want to get hurt again, but I really like you."
Elizabeth: "I like you too."
He: "I think it is getting time for us to talk about the next step. Cuz, you know, I really like you."
Elizabeth: "I like you too."
He: "I think we should start talking, you know, about, the...ahhhhh, the L-Word."
Elizabeth: "The L-Word?"
He: "Yes, the L-Word. I don't want you to say anything, but I've been thinking a lot about the L-Word."
Elizabeth: "The L-Word? You've been thinking a lot about LESBIANS?????"
He (after he stops choking from laughter): "No, not lesbians. I think I am falling in LOVE with you!"
Yes, that is Elizabeth. If you want your days and nights spent with inane laughter, the smell of Febreze and Lysol, and many drunken events that include falling down...she's your girl. And she is so completely, utterly, absolutely worth it.
Today is our 14th wedding Anniversary. So hard to believe that we've been married this long and gone through so many changes. I am not sure I would even recognize the Sarah and Michael of 1994. This is the Michael I see most these days...a little House weary but happy.
Happy Anniversary Husband! I would trade you for nothing; and you were so worth coming home for.
Pretty freaking cool, isn't it? Good coloring, charitable cause, wildlife, and of course Iona. I've received so many comments about it in the first week, that I know this was the right choice. Unfortunately, not everyone seems as thrilled...
Lest you think I have completely abandoned my true ways, please know that my CA plate is still occupying the front side of my vehicle. Since NC only requires one, I see no issue with this. That is of course until some state trooper tells me differently. And that too, is inevitable.
